Walking - Day 11

Psalm 96

Oh sing to the LORD a new song; sing to the LORD, all the earth! Sing to the LORD, bless his name; tell of his salvation from day to day. Declare his glory among the nations, his marvelous works among all the peoples!

For great is the LORD, and greatly to be praised; he is to be feared above all gods. For all the gods of the peoples are worthless idols, but the LORD made the heavens. Splendor and majesty are before him; strength and beauty are in his sanctuary.

I had plenty of time to walk today – really, nothing to do but wait on a possible meeting with Sam and eventually driving to Portsmouth to pick up Harrison and head for home.  So, I pulled out my camera and found a nice park in Concord, NH to walk in.  The park wasn’t much, but it was a nice walkway along the edge of the river, so I began my walk. 

Almost instantly I was joined by my little friend.  He was sitting not far from me, not really interested in me until I got a little closer.  Then, we had a stare down.  I waited for him to move – he waited for me to move.  Minutes passed, and the standoff continued.  Eventually, because I am really not good and standing still or not moving, he won, and he took off for the woods as I attempted to move closer.  I got some great pictures of him (and some of his buddies), but he got away.

Psalm 96 says, “For all the gods of the peoples are worthless idols, but the LORD made the heavens. Splendor and majesty are before him; strength and beauty are in his sanctuary.”  As I sat there looking at this cute little creature (cute in nature – not so cute digging holes around my house – just saying), I was reminded that he was created by a very amazing God who cares about him and cares for him.  God meets his needs, gives him food, gives him shelter from the weather, and gave him instincts to protect him from big scary people like me.

My God is not a worthless God – even with issues that I am not aware of in my life – He is at work.  He knows my prayers before I pray them.  He knows my needs before I am even aware that they are needs.  He takes care of me, and He cares for me.

I still call out to Him in desperation – because it is something I can do that the animals cannot.  I have the ability to attempt to meet my own needs, proclaim my own glory, and pursue my own interests.  Animals, nature of every kind, does not have a will – they are just part of the “splendor and majesty, strength and beauty” that Psalm 96 talks about.

I want to bring glory to my Father – I am just not good at it.  I need Him to help me to depend on Him, pursue His will, and proclaim His glory to the world.  Father – help me as I seek to do this with my whole heart.

Walking - Day 10

Psalm 86

Incline your ear, O LORD, and answer me, for I am poor and needy.  Preserve my life, for I am godly; save your servant, who trusts in you--you are my God.  Be gracious to me, O Lord, for to you do I cry all the day.

Gladden the soul of your servant, for to you, O Lord, do I lift up my soul.  For you, O Lord, are good and forgiving, abounding in steadfast love to all who call upon you.  Give ear, O LORD, to my prayer; listen to my plea for grace.  In the day of my trouble I call upon you, for you answer me.

 

However, in my head was the reminder of a similar day over 27 years ago, when a 21 year old boy stood before a 21 year old girl and made similar commitments.  That was a beautiful day as well, and man would I like to go back to that day to talk to that young man.  Oh the wisdom I could impart now!

Tonight I took some time for my walk.  It is a delightful evening with the setting of the sun, but just before it did, I got a picture of this amazing flower.  It was a reminder of my creative Father who is faithful and abounding in steadfast love.

You see, I was reminded today of the fact that I have not been faithful in my love for my wife, or my God.  I failed them both.  I broke the covenant that I made all of those years ago.  I had no intention of doing that when I made my vows, but somehow, arrogance, selfishness, self-deception, whatever the reason, I did not love my wife as Christ loved the church.  I disappointed my wife. I hurt her.  I mishandled her heart.  I sinned against her. 

And so today I walk, with my head down, my eyes toward the earth, my heart heavy.  There is nothing I can do to undo what I have done.  There is no way to reclaim faithfulness – once it has been lost.  I long to go back to that day all those years ago and warn my younger self of the dangers of thinking too highly of myself, and not valuing the most precious gift I was ever given – my wife’s heart.

I am reminded in Psalm 86 about my God. It says, “For you, O Lord, are good and forgiving, abounding in steadfast love to all who call upon you.  Give ear, O LORD, to my prayer; listen to my plea for grace.  In the day of my trouble I call upon you, for you answer me.”  God forgives.  God exudes steadfastness in love.  God offers grace.  God answers my call.  But God does not remove the stain, the pain, the scars, and the hurt of my sin.

Days like today remind me how far from the mark I landed – I am just thankful for a loving and forgiving Father, and for a wife who has followed hard after God and has granted me forgiveness and grace as well.  Thank you Father for the gift of my wife.  Help me to never fail her again.  I trust in you for the strength to walk in faithfulness and love.

Today was a day of hugely mixed emotion.  I had the privilege of going to the wedding of a very dear friend.  I was thrilled as I saw him look at his bride for the first time today.  His eyes filled with emotion, and you could see that this was a man in love.  The ceremony was beautiful, and for all who were there, it seemed a joyous occasion.

Walking - Day 9

Psalm 40

Blessed is the man who makes the LORD his trust, who does not turn to the proud, to those who go astray after a lie!  You have multiplied, O LORD my God, your wondrous deeds and your thoughts toward us; none can compare with you! I will proclaim and tell of them, yet they are more than can be told.  In sacrifice and offering you have not delighted, but you have given me an open ear. Burnt offering and sin offering you have not required.  Then I said, "Behold, I have come; in the scroll of the book it is written of me: I delight to do your will, O my God; your law is within my heart."

I had a different walking buddy this morning.  God has gifted us with a grandson who truly is a bundle of energy and enthusiasm.  His face lights up at the strangest things.  He is inquisitive, loves to explore, and enjoys life.  His energy drives me to try to keep up – but it is not easy.

Today as we walked, I thought about the joy that God brings through focusing and trusting in Him.  As I thought about Psalm 40, it says, “you have given me an open ear”, and “I delight to do your will, O my God; your law is within my heart”.  I prayed and asked God to open my ears to hear the things from Him and from others that I needed to hear.  He has given me ears to hear Him better, and He has enabled me to hear the others around me with more clarity.  It is a new “ear”, so I still have work to do, but here is the rest of it.  I delight to do Your will!!  It isn’t enough for God to give me ears to hear if I am not willing and excited to do what He needs me to do.  It isn’t enough to hear the hearts of the people around you if you aren’t delighted to respond as they need you to respond.

My grandson gives me great joy when he hears what I ask him to do and does it.  He benefits from listening well also.  It is my prayer that I will continue to develop ears that hear God well and hear the hearts of my family well so I can respond with joy in serving them.

Today’s walk was a little more upbeat – as it can be expected when you are chasing a 2 year old around, but with the puddles and other distractions, it was very relaxing.

I look forward to another day tomorrow – this time, the walk will be in Concord. NH!!