Marriage and Exercise

This morning, after a 3 mile run with my wife, I was on my way to the gym and they were talking about
marriage on the radio.  I found myself lost in thought as I pondered the similarities between working out and developing a good healthy marriage.  Here are a couple of my uncompleted thoughts...

• Both require work - without a willingness to push yourself beyond your own limits and do the work required, neither will produce what you want.

• Speaking of which, both require a goal/objective - I see people all the time in the gym who seem to want to do something, and it seems that they think just being in the gym is going to make them healthy and strong - truth be told, many people in marriages think just being married will produce what they long for as well.  Without an objective (which muscles you are working, what parts of your body need improvement, etc) you will never know what good going to the gym is producing, and eventually you will want to quit.  With marriage, having goals, direction, and objectives as a couple (ministry, financial, family, personal, educational, etc.) you will struggle to know what you are all about, and eventually you will wonder what you are doing.

•  Both involve pain and difficulty - There are times at the gym I am hurting and sore - and there are times later in the day that I feel the pain of the morning workout.  I don't like the pain - but I know the results are worth it.  I watch some who are willing to be at the gym - they want to "do the work", but when the body becomes sore or the workout is difficult, they seek the easier path.  The stronger, healthier, leaner bodies belong to the people who are willing to enter the pain and fight the desire to quit when things are most difficult.  In the same way, no marriage worth being in will not have difficulty, struggles, and heartache.  We are sinners in a fallen world.  We sin against each other daily - but entering the pain and working through it will strengthen your "marriage muscles" and bring the healthy, stronger marriage you desire.

• Quitting is not an option!   In either case, if you have an "out", an "alternate plan", or allow for quitting, you will never push through.  Even the most dedicated person will seek an exit when things are at their most difficult.  If there isn't one, they will push through and be successful - if there is, the draw could be too strong and will cause failure.  Divorce should never be discussed - it is the "easy way out" (although I know it is not easy), any more than talking about going to Dunkin Donuts instead of going to the gym is smart conversation at 5:30 in the morning.  Given the choice, I would prefer the thing that brings temporary satisfaction over the thing that brings long term pleasure.

• Which brings us to the point of - neither a profitable/worthwhile marriage or healthy exercise plan have a short life span!  Temporary pleasures have no place in either marriage or exercise.  I hear people talk about a "cheat day" on their diet/exercise plan.  I don't understand this - because who is it you are hurting when you "cheat"?  There is no benefit to working out, eating right, and then "cheating" on your diet.  When you "cheat" on your diet, you just require more work/exercise/discipline to regain the ground you lost.  In a very similar reality, cheating on your marriage (by placing anything in the place of your spouse - another person, your job, a hobby, a passion, etc) does nothing but damage to yourself and your spouse.  The amount of work necessary to keep a marriage healthy is significant, but the amount of work after cheating is much more.  The fruit of the "temporary" never produces anything worth while.

• Some would ask - why get married/why work out?  And I will tell you the answer there is the same as well.  Yes, both are difficult, both are work, both require discipline, both cause pain, however, both are life changing!  Both bring the ability to do things you would never dream possible.  Both bring joy, happiness, satisfaction, pleasure...  Things that we desire out of life.  And I want to point out, it seems to me that both have a "breaking point" that require a decision - and those who push past the pain, the difficulty, the desire to quit, find the greatest satisfaction and fulfillment.  

• By the way, just because you have been married for 30 years doesn't mean you put in the work to make it a successful/healthy marriage any more than spending 30 years walking on a treadmill will give you the muscles and healthy body you desire.  Yeah, you might have put in the work to continue on, but you haven't done the work to produce a healthy, vibrant life.

• I said all of this, and forgot the most important part.  Neither exercise nor marriage are best in a vacuum.  In other words, there are external elements necessary to make the plan work.  For exercise, you need equipment, personnel (like a trainer/coach), healthy food/drinks - for a marriage, you need God (after all, He's the one who designed it),God's word, personnel (friends, counselors, coaches).  If you attempt to work out without the externals, you will be limited in your scope of development - in the same way, with marriage, if you do it alone, without the encouragement/challenging of godly friends, without the input of God and His word, you will find your ability to have a successful marriage nearly impossible.

There is much more that could be said, and I would love to hear some other comparisons as others think about it.  But for now, it is my challenge to put as much energy and passion into making my marriage all that it should be as I do in working out.

Lord help me to love my wife as I ought, and seek to serve You and her each day.

Princeton Bible Church - Peru Trip - Day 7

Another amazing day here in Peru.  The weather is cool - there is a slight drizzle as the day begins,  and the team is walking to the church for breakfast and devotions.  No one complains though, because, after all, we are in Peru!

We arrived at church, took some time for devotions, and then ate our usual eggs and bacon with bread breakfast. They added some potato and cheese dish as well - we are so blessed to have such wonderful food.

We loaded up into three vehicles and headed across town for our last day of ministry with the children.  The team has done such a great job - they have represented their families, their churches, and most importantly, their God well.  They have followed instruction, served the children, loved one another, and ministered with passion and energy day in and day out.  It has been a joy to watch.

But today was going to be difficult because we will not be back tomorrow.  The team, the kids, the workers will all be realizing this fact as the day goes on, so eventually the reality of it all will set in.

We worked at the first center - doing the Bible story, playing games, doing the craft - much like the other days, but every moment seemed more valuable because the end was near.  The team interacted with as many kids as possible - we handed out gifts, candy, shirts, and just loved on the kids as we had opportunity.  Eventually we had to leave, but Carla and Carlo had planned a "health class" for the older kids so Alyssa, Kate, Robin and Brennen stayed back to answer questions. From what I gather, they had a great time.

The second center was more of the same - just another day to love on kids and play with them and share Jesus with them.  Some of the team members were reading tracts with the kids, others reading bibles, others just sitting and talking - but all of them were sharing with the kids.  It is a blessing to watch, and knowing that some of them are planning to join the sponsorship program with AMG is wonderful as well.  I know they will be blessed by being part of these kids lives - they really already have.

We took a group photo - it was awesome!  Kids, workers, our team - all on the stairs outside the center - this was a great week.

Thought for the day: My daughter and her husband sent their sponsored child a camera with 27 pictures on it - they asked her to take pictures of things that were important to her.  I did my best to explain to her what she needed to do, and very quickly she was ready for the assignment.  How humbled I was as she turned the camera to me and took her first photo (obviously not because I was the most important thing to her, but I was the closest at the time).  It was humbling because I was included in her list.  She left and about 20 minutes later returned with the camera full.  I have no idea what other pictures she took, but I am looking forward to finding out.

If I was given the assignment to take a picture of the 27 most important things to me, what would they be?  As I pondered this, and thought about where I am, I had to conclude it would be the people that are the most important to me.  My wife, my children, my family, my friends...  the rest of my stuff is just that - stuff.  I don't value any of the stuff I have enough to put it anywhere near the top 100 (nevertheless the top 27).

I have no idea what pictures she did take, but my guess is this camera is full of pictures of people.  We can learn a lot from people who don't have much - maybe sometimes they have more than we do.

Princeton Bible Church - Peru Trip - Day 6

Today was more of the same - but boy did we have some interesting experiences...

• We spent more time at the Spiros Zodhiates Center today.  They shared the Bible story, played games, did crafts, and loved on the kids.  We broke out the tennis balls, the jump ropes, the beach ball, and the K'nex pieces.  The kids loved all of the various activities and games.
• Harrison and I were able to go to Harold's home and see his mother.  We purchased some Inca Cola for the team from their tienda.  Harold is doing very well in school - had almost all perfect scores on his exams.  I am thrilled because he is learning English.
• At the second center we again sang songs, had a Bible story, did crafts and games.  Five of the team members have picked up children to sponsor from this center - so they love going there in the afternoons.  Today a local group (who helped build 9 homes in the area) spent some time with the children allowing them to paint small "houses" that they had provided for the kids.  Our group was able to work with the kids while they painted the houses.
• In the mean time, Natalie (Morgan's little girl) was injured by an accident with one of the boys, and may need stitches.  Morgan did a great job of caring for her.
• We left the center a little early today - we were not sure exactly why - but 1/2 way home we found out part of the reason.  All day long we have been smelling the clutch, and on the highway it stopped working - we were stuck on the side of the road for over 2 hours.  Eventually we all made it back to the church where we had Lomo Saltado (a Peruvian dish). 
• Five (not so smart) team members acted like they walked back to the hotel early - since they arrived at the church first.  They thought it was funny hiding from me in the baptismal area.  I am not going to mention their names, but three of the five ladies were from Chattanooga...  just saying :-)
• After dinner we all did walk back to the hotel where we had our final wrap up.  The team is getting tired, and so we turned in a little earlier (or at least they did) and we are planning a little later start in the morning.

Tomorrow is our last day - we will be wearing our team shirts and handing out bunches of candy and stuff to kids.  It will be a great "celebration", but also a hard day of saying goodbye.  They will need prayer. (Especially since we don't know how we are getting to the center.)

Thought for the day:  So I am playing with the kids at the soccer goal and they are asking me to lift them up so they can hang from the goal.  One after another, the kids are trying to get me to lift them up - they are calling to me and lining up to hang from the soccer goal.  Eventually I get tired, so I asked them to jump.  If they did, I lifted them to the goal - if not I didn't.

Kind of reminded me of my Heavenly Father who asks me to obey and when I do, things work out as they are supposed to - for my best and for His glory - and what a blast it is as I enjoy serving Him.  When I don't, they seem to still work out for His glory, I just don't get the pleasure of enjoying the ride.

One little girl was hanging from the goal, and she wanted so badly to let go, but she was afraid to fall.  I was behind her and I got a firm grasp on her waist and waited for her to let go.  For the longest time she held on.  Little by little her fingers began to slip, and (although I could not see her face) I could sense her fear of letting go.  Eventually she had no choice and when she let go, she didn't even move.  I was holding her tightly, and I held her right where she was when she was holding on to the bar.  She had nothing to be afraid of - I was able to hold her, I was willing to hold her.

In the same way, when times call for faith in my Father who is not only able, but also willing to hold me - I need to let go and allow Him to sustain me - as He is even when I am holding on and thinking I have control.

Thank you God that you are both powerful and good - I know I can trust you in all things.

Princeton Bible Church - Peru Trip - Day 5

Since today was similar to other days this week, I am going to do some "highlight writing".  Not to mention - it is already after 10...

• House visits today - Three of the team members have committed to sponsoring children, so we had the privilege of going to all three of those children's homes.  Ali was also able to go to her sponsored child's home as well.  Experiences ranged from cardboard style walls and a single room home where the children slept on the floor  - to - a two story home where the floor had tile on it.  The visits were very impacting for the team, and hearing their stories at the end of the day was awesome!

• "Are you a good person?" tracts - the team worked through these tracts with the children and shared with them the truth of the gospel.  It was neat to see the kids responding, knowing that some did not fully understand while others did.  It is always great to see the team get excited about sharing the gospel with the kids.

• This afternoon we played various different games with the children - Jenga, Memory, and of course the sports games - soccer, football, volleyball, etc.  Watching the children laugh and play is always a highlight of these trips.

• Singing with the kids today was a blast - we sang 2 Spanish songs, and then the group sang 2 English songs.  The kids loved both.

• Breakfast and dinner were special today - we had ham and eggs for breakfast - not anything different from other days, but as always it was delicious, and then tonight we went to La Hacienda (Pastor Jose's favorite chicken place) and we ate chicken, french fries and salad.  Enough food for everyone.  We washed it all down with a trip to Sarcletti's.

Thought for the day: As I stood on the hill above Buen Pastor and surveyed the land around me, I was again reminded of the vast number of people that live in this region.  Carla reminded me that just a few years ago (15-18) the child care centers that now hold 220 and 89 were just a dream that began with 7 children meeting at a local park!

My thought is - what does the next 15 years have in store for these team members who are seeing what God has done over the past 15 years?  How will he take the passions, the visions, the lives of this team and use them in the future?  Maybe 10's of people will be impacted - maybe 100's of people - maybe 1000's or more - who knows.

What I do know is that from just 7 children, over 300 children are being ministered to now, and over the past 15 years, probably 500 or more children have been impacted (and who knows how far out that impact has gone).  God can do something amazing with this group - I just pray that they will be doers of the Word - not just hearers - as we talked about this morning in James 1.

And the person I need to begin with first is me...

Princeton Bible Church - Peru Trip - Day 4

The morning started with a quick drive from the hotel to the church - Pastor had left the van at the hotel, so it made the 30 minute walk a 5 minute drive.  By 8:30 we arrived at the church - only to find out we were locked out.  While most of the team waited there at the church, I had the distinct privilege of driving one team member back to the hotel to get pants (he had worn shorts).  Yes, it was my son!  Go figure...

Anyway, we were having devotions by 8:40, and ate breakfast shortly thereafter.  The team was very interactive as we talked about temptations and our Good God.  You could tell though that everyone was looking forward to heading to the center to see the kids.

So, after breakfast, we headed to the center.  We made 2 stops - the Metro (for medicine for Sheila's mouth sore, and 18 bottles of water), and a hardware store (where we got a shovel, a pick, a rake and a sledge). 

When we arrived at the center, we broke up into three groups - just like yesterday - and interacted with the kids.  The lesson today: the 10 lepers.  The team acted it out again - it was fun to watch.  The games group played soccer and volleyball while the craft team worked inside.

We stayed until the kids ate - and then headed off for Buen Pastor.  Harrison was a little frustrated since we still have yet to see Harold, and since he is in the second group - we did not see him again. 

At Buen Pastor, we gathered all of the kids together and sang "Yo Tengo Gozo" faster and faster, and then we sang "Allelu" a couple of times with the kids standing and sitting.  It was fun to watch their faces light up as they sang praises to God.  The team enjoyed it as well.

Carla taught the story to the group (as the team acted it out), and then we broke up and interacted with the kids.  Face painting, bracelets, jump rope, soccer... tons of stuff happening all around the place.  Kids were connecting with team members.  Team members were asking kids about God, and talking with them about Salvation and the gospel.  This group is interacting with the kids on so many different levels - it really is a joy to watch.

While they were doing this, Curtis and I helped clear out some of the debris behind the kitchen, only to find out that they want much more than we did.  I think we need an engineer on the team to help us design what it is that they want - but we will see what we can come up with and accomplish by the end of the week.

Eventually it was time to go and we headed back to the church for dinner.  Chicken, rice, vegetables, potato topping, and cucumbers.  It was delicious!  The team cleaned all of the food up - there wasn't much left at all.  After dinner we did a "hi-lo" conversation and each person shared their highs for the day - not very many lows.  That is awesome! 

A number of the team members have made decisions to sponsor kids - that is always a high time for me - I love when people make long term connections with the children.  I pray they can sustain the relationships as they head back home.

Back to the hotel - showers, some games, some face timing, and off to bed.  It'll be another great day tomorrow.

Thought for the day:  As Curtis and I worked on the "mound" outside the kitchen, we had no real clue what we were doing.  We worked hard and made some decisions about what we were shooting for and then showed our work to Lutgarda and the other ladies at the center.  Tonight we talked with Pastor Jose about what we were trying to accomplish - and we weren't even close!  Our understanding of what we were trying to accomplish was completely skewed.

How many times do we interact with people who have the greatest of intentions, work very hard to make those things work, and yet completely miss the "purpose" of life?  How many times do we - even with our understanding of God and the gospel - find ourselves exhausted by "doing the work" when actually what we accomplish is not even the will of the Father?

If we had sought direction from Jose first - our aim would have been more sure.  In life, if we seek direction from the Father first - our purpose will be more clear.

Father, help me not live to work hard and complete the tasks I have assigned, but rather to be faithful to follow your direction and leading.  Help me seek Your face first!

Princeton Bible Church - Peru Trip - Day 3

From the moment we gathered together this morning, you could sense the enthusiasm.  Today is the day we have been waiting for.  Today we would be seeing the kids, playing with them, teaching them...  the team was ready to go.

We ate breakfast at the church and then had devotions.  We started our study in the book of James, and I loved hearing the team wrestle with trials, wisdom, and God's blessings.  After a great conversation about our passage, the team packed up and headed for Spiros Zodhiates Child Care Center.

When we arrived, we were met with the few kids that were already there, and shortly we were surrounded  by many more.  We divided into three groups - Bible Story, Craft and Games.  The Bible story group acted out the story of the Good Samaritan - as Carlo taught the story in Spanish.  The kids seemed to enjoy the presentation.  The craft group had coloring pages for the story and they had to put the story in order of the events.  The games group spent time outside playing soccer and volleyball.

All of the groups did well, and as the groups finished their work, the kids would go to another group.  Things were very well organized and moved rather smoothly.  There was about 150 kids or so that we saw in all.  We eventually fed them and sent them on to school, and some of the afternoon kids began coming for their lunch time.  We stayed a little longer and eventually headed off to the "good shepherd" center.

As we arrived there, I was looking forward to seeing Norma, but she was not there yet. We interacted with the kids as they completed eating lunch.  Eventually Norma arrived, and - true to Norma form - she acted like she didn't know Harrison or I.  She said her name wasn't Norma.  She is a character - too smart for her own good! 

Again the group performed the skits, did the crafts, and played games - then we stayed the rest of the afternoon playing with the kids - everything from braiding hair to soccer, hopscotch, etc. They were fabulous!  Each team member found an opportunity to love on the kids and did it well.  I loved watching as they ministered to the kids.

Eventually we had to pack it up and head for home.  The kids were thrilled to hear that we would be back tomorrow!  The team members were excited about it as well.  It is going to be a great week.

We have lots of opportunities of things we can do with the kids, and it will be fun to watch as we break out the bracelets, nail polish, K'nex blocks, tennis balls, bubbles...  and interact with the kids.  I know the team was anxious to get started on some of the things we brought to do, but I wanted to see what the normal program was before we do the things we have brought.

Tomorrow begins at 8 - devotions at 8:30!  It is going to be a great day.

Thought for the day: I had the privilege of driving again today - and man is it fun!  I love the chaos of driving the roads of Peru.  Numerous times the bigger vehicles would push their way into my lane to  edge me out.  It is amazing how quickly my flesh wants to push back and say, "not today, big boy!".

Could you imagine being Jesus?  Just another man in this world, yet God incarnate.  As others "flexed" their muscles and pushed Him around - they were messing with the "biggest vehicle" of all, and yet his instinct was to bend and serve.  What a wonderful picture of strength as the strongest "man" of all, bends His knee to the weak men who thought they were strong.

From the smallest child to the most important influential person in the world, how willing am I to be a servant of all?  To bend my will, my desires, my goals to the ones around me so that they might know Christ?  Oh that my response would be like Christ - this is what I need to pray for.

Princeton Bible Church - Peru Trip - Day 2

Sunday morning, and the team was fairly well rested!  We got up around 7 and prepared for church.  By 7:45 we were on our way to Palermo's for some of Jose's favorite pork sandwiches.  However, when we arrived, Jose wasn't there!  So we ate without him.  Breakfast was delicious - everyone seemed to like their food.

After breakfast we headed off to the church for the morning service.  Along the way we stopped at a local park, took pictures of birds and the group, and then finished our morning stroll to the church.  We arrived about 10 minutes before church was to start, but who is counting...

It is father's day, so in both the Sunday School hour and the church service, they recognized the fathers.  Robin, Curtis and I were included in that bunch.  We even received cologne!  Sunday School was about what Christ taught about economic issues - almost had a "political" bent to it - which wasn't surprising since the teacher is a local politician. (or at least that was my understanding).  The main service was about "living by faith", and the preacher was a missionary.  He read his whole sermon without looking up much (and when he did, his eyes were closed).  It was a good message, but hard to listen to because he spoke in a very slow, monotonous, Spanish that was fairly easy to understand, but probably very hard for the locals to listen to. 

The group sang "Amazing Grace" and Sheila and Alyssa gave testimony to what God has done in their lives.  They did an excellent job - I was very impressed.

Following church, we took Jose and his family out for a Chinese buffet!  Apparently a place that Jose really likes to go - prices were a little steep - but it isn't father's day everyday - and it was nice for the team to treat him and his family.

The rest of the day was spent talking about tomorrow, resting, and preparing.  We did walk down to Sarcletti's for ice cream.  When we returned, we talked about the lessons learned so far, and we geared the team up for the things to come - tomorrow will be an excellent day! The ministry to the children begins!

Harrison noted the quick connection the team is making - this is a young team, but they really are getting along well.

Thought for the day: During our evening discussion, Jenna noted that she felt "comfortable".  She was referring to the group dynamic, but it got me thinking about how "safe" we aren't, but how comfortable we can become.  We are not at home - we are not in the US - we are in a foreign land, and we must stay on alert.  We need not be worried or anxious, but we must be wise.

In the same way, many of us as Christians have become "comfortable" in the world, and the world is not our friend.  It is not even friendly to us.  It is in complete opposition to us and our father.  We should be on full alert at all times - with our weapons ready, our armor on, and in a posture to stand.  We need not be worried or anxious, we need not be afraid.  However, we must be on guard, alert and wise.

God help me keep my mind clear, my gaze focused, my aim sure, and my faith in You.

Princeton Bible Church - Peru Trip - Day 1

Well, the morning started off rather interestingly.  Dee, Brooke, Josh and I decided to go jogging around 8:00, and just about the time we finished running, I received a call from Curtis.  One of our team members had forgotten their passport!  Obviously this is not something that we had not encountered before (especially since I did the same thing back in 2010!).  Curtis and Grace ended up taking a later flight, but God worked it out for them to make it to Atlanta before the Lima flight.

Harrison, Morgan, Sarah and Ali were all ready to leave our home at 11:00, and we headed for the airport.  After a quick stop at Subway, we arrived at the airport a little after 1.  I dropped the group off and went and parked the car (level four, right out the door - a little rhyme to help me remember where I parked).  Anyway, by 2:00 we were at E12 and visiting with the rest of the team.  By 2:30, Curtis and Grace had joined us all and we did brief introductions, a quick overview of the week, and then hung out and waited for the final flight into Lima.

The rest of the day was uneventful as we arrived on time - loaded up shortly after - and headed for the hotel.  By 2:00 AM local time most of the team was sleeping (or at least quietly tucked into their rooms). 

Tomorrow we will be heading out for breakfast around 7:45, so we have a rather short night tonight.

Church tomorrow and then prep time to get ready for the week.

Thought for the day:  this isn't fair because it is actually a thought I had earlier this week, but I hadn't recorded it and we talked about it again today. We saw hundreds of people today - each with their own distinct characteristics - some short, some tall, some fat, some skinny, some curly hair, some straight hair, some brown eyes, some blue...  the amazing thought for today is that every one of these people originated with Adam and Eve.  What an amazing feet that from the genetics of 2 people all of the variations we experience today were created.

What does this tell me about our God?  Only that thousands of years ago he put in the first Adam and his wife the genetic code that was able to create billions of different people - each with their own personal characteristics.  He thought this thing through well before time began - and made no mistakes when He did it. 

That being the case, what will I experience today that He cannot handle?  That He has not already thought through?  That He is not "creative" enough to deal with?  I think I can rest easy in the hands of a mighty and loving God who is that powerful.