My Christmas Wish...

If you could have one thing, anything, what would it be? This time of year, the idea of giving and getting is pretty common, so indulge me and think about it - ONE THING - ANYTHING - what would it be?

Some would say, "lots of money". Because with money, you can do lots of things. You can live debt free, travel, have things, give things, etc. A lot of money would be nice to have.

Some (especially those in the church) might say, "wisdom". It's what Solomon asked for, and he got everything else thrown in on top. So maybe wisdom is the answer that each of us should pursue.

Some might ask for reconciliation with family members or friends. Some might ask for health. Some might ask for another opportunity to talk with a loved one who has passed on.

Some might say that the greatest thing they can ask for is Salvation in Christ. I would have to agree with them, but that has already been offered (and on my account it has been accepted) so that would not answer my question today.

As I have pondered this question and wrestled with what it might be, I have come to a conclusion. I would like to ask for a "Life Mulligan". You know, in golf, you mess up a shot, you get a mulligan. You twisted your wrist a little too much, or shifted your hips too quickly, or leaned over a little too far, or looked up a little too soon... A mulligan - shoot it again. Forget the first ball - shoot it again.

You may have, much like myself, made some blunders in life and the consequences were bad but not too severe. However, there's that day, that moment, that one decision that if you could just go back and tweak it just a bit, the outcome would be drastically different. I often think of where I am and where I have been and wonder what life would have been if I had made a different choice at given points in time.

Well, there you have it - my Christmas wish, the one that cannot be fulfilled, a life mulligan. If you find one, please let me know.

What makes us different?

Christmas time... What does it mean? Generally it means, busyness, running around, waiting, buying, giving, expecting, searching, hunting, busy, busy, busy!!!

For Christians, often times it means taking time to reflect on the "reason for the season". We think of the birth of the Savior. If we are well balanced, we might even take some time to reflect on the death, burial and resurrection as well.

However, even the unregenerate person might take time to reflect on something bigger than themselves. They might even set aside time to give to others, prioritize their lives, serve others... So the question is what makes Christians different?

In my valuation, Christmas should be a day like any other. It should be a day where the focus of our lives is centered on the one who owns us. It should be a day where others needs are above our own, and the desire to minister to others in the Name of our Savior should be preeminent. It should be a day when the eternal is more important than the temporary. A day when the purposes of our Lord outweigh our own objectives, goals, or desires.

What do you think?

People in a Box

I am starting to wonder if I live a virtual life more than I live a real life.

I am intrigued by relationships, activities, behaviors, patters... of people on my favorite television shows, and it dawns on me - they are not even real people.

I find myself taking time to interact with old acquaintances via a variety of media yet not taking the time to get to know new people all around me.

I find myself engrossed in 2 hour long stories that tell the tales of peoples lives, and I want to see more, know more, experience more. I want to understand the "rest of the story". I ask questions about the issues that these stories bring up, but often it is just to better understand the story.

People In A Box - one 80's band referred to them as. Television, movies, computer games, Facebook, Twitter... on and on it goes. It is a life lived spending time interacting with little that matters, asking questions about things that do not have any depth, researching personalities that don't even exist.

Wasted time - wasted on meaninglessness. And then we wonder why we are discontent with life. We throw away the one asset we have right now - time - that we cannot get back no matter what we do.

What is the answer? Where do I go from here?

The need for a paradigm shift.

In life we are constantly evaluating things. We wrestle with why people do or do not do things. We muse at the activity of others as if we had a perspective to help them better understand their lives. We realize that from the outside, the flaws and blind spots of others are extremely evident, but then we must confess that from the outside our perspective is different. We recognize that from our perspective things look a certain way, but as we listen to the thoughts of others, we have to conclude that there are almost infinite ways of looking at the activities of life.

I heard a man talking the other day about his marriage, and how he only had 38 years of experience. It gave me pause to think about what an "expert" at marriage would look like. As a matter of fact, I began contemplating what an "expert" on life looks like. It seems to me that if we were to think back to the first 38 years of modern technology, we would laugh at what they thought was the "best of the day".

Think about computers for instance. In the first 38 years of the creation of the modern day computer, we were looking at very large desktop type computers in the mid 80's. Atari, Intelevision, Apple computers, IBM, were some of the big names of the day. We laugh at that technology today because it is so "outdated". We realize that the experts of that day stood on the shoulders of the thousands of people who had gone before, but changed something to make the process quicker, smoother, better. Today, technology is changing so quickly that by the time a computer major graduates from college much of what they learned in the first years of training is either obsolete or has been revised.

What I guess I am wrestling with is, at the rate at which we are learning things, the one thing that I am constantly coming back to is the fact that we are still all learning.

For example, my family structure has changed much over the past 25 years. I went from being a single kid to a married parent with 3 children. I went from having 2 living parents to only 1. I went from having 4 siblings to 5 (plus a multitude of foster kids that went through my parents home). Each change reshaped me, re-focused me, re-oriented me, caused me to learn more, think differently, act differently. I am not the person I was 25 years ago.

However, the transitions will continue. Over the next 25 years, I will probably add a few members to my family as my children marry and have children. I will probably lose a few members of my family as some pass away. I maybe even gone myself - so the others around me may experience a change. There may be unexpected death or physical problems, unexpected legal or financial issues. There will be a multitude of events that will shape the future, most of which I am certain I can not imagine.

How humbling it should be that we get anything right! Yet why is it that if we figure something out, we begin to accept the accolades as an "expert" as if we have answers for questions that we haven't even asked. How does someone who has never experienced the incarceration of a family member speak to another who has had a history of family members struggling with the law. How does a person who has never experienced death of a child bring perspective to someone who has. How does a person who has never dealt with a debilitating illness or mental incapacity in a family member identify with one who has walked that path.

If there is one conclusion we must draw, it is that we can only speak from our perspective. We can only understand the life of another through the lens of our lives. Which is why paradigm shifts are vital to understanding our limited cognitive capabilities. When I realize that I process the lives of other people through my limited ability to understand, I realize that regardless of what I think, the depth and breadth of the story is much greater than I can summarize in just a short period of time. It takes a lifetime for people to develop into the people that they become - although I will confer that each step one takes makes them closer to what they will be - so I can't help but believe it would take a long time to decipher the causes behind the actions or the thought patterns.

I have grown weary of evaluating and being evaluated by others. It seems to me that we give the benefit of the doubt to people who are like us, and we judge more critically those who are not. We look for similarities to identify with, or differences to categorize others with. We want to be special by distinguishing ourselves from others. We want to know the order of things by having layers of value that we place on people.

What would the world be like if people recognized people as people? All fallen, broken, screwed up, troubled, mistaken, desiring to love and be loved, desiring to know and be known, wanting perfection but realizing it does not exist, wanting the next generation to have it better than they did, wanting peace but finding chaos... People!

Imagine a group of individuals that found their value in something (someone) outside of themselves. Who did not fear to love, because a response from the one loved was not necessary. Who do not fear to give, because there is no limit to their resources. Who do not think of self, because their identity is comprised of others. Who do not hesitate to sacrifice, because the ultimate goal is the gain of others. Who evaluate others based on the evaluation of the "One" outside themselves, because He is the only One who has the right to critique.

We need a paradigm shift.